Bible verses about betrayal

It was not an enemy

For it was not an enemy who insulted me, then I could have endured it. Neither was it he who hated me who raised himself up against me, then I would have hidden myself from him. But it was you, a man like me, my companion, and my familiar friend. We took sweet fellowship together. We walked in God’s house with company.Psalms 55:12-14 · World English Bible

The psalm puts things in the order that makes it hurt. An enemy could have been borne; a person who hated him could have been avoided. It was a companion — somebody he walked to God’s house with. Then, a few verses on:

He raises his hands against his friends. He has violated his covenant. His mouth was smooth as butter, but his heart was war. His words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.Psalms 55:20-21 · World English Bible

Smooth as butter, and war in the heart. Words softer than oil that turn out to be drawn swords.

Someone told David, saying, “Ahithophel is amongst the conspirators with Absalom.” David said, “LORD, please turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness.”2 Samuel 15:31 · World English Bible

An old reading attaches this psalm to Ahithophel, David’s counsellor, who went over to Absalom’s rebellion. Gill notes that the Targum renders verse 13 “but thou Ahithophel”; Barnes and Keil and Delitzsch make the same connection (all at Bible Hub’s commentaries on Psalm 55:13). The psalm itself names nobody. We are giving you the tradition, not settling it.

The part of the verse Jesus leaves out

Yes, my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, who ate bread with me, has lifted up his heel against me.Psalms 41:9 · World English Bible

I don’t speak concerning all of you. I know whom I have chosen; but that the Scripture may be fulfilled, ‘He who eats bread with me has lifted up his heel against me.’John 13:18 · World English Bible

Put them side by side. The quotation starts at who ate bread with me. “My own familiar friend, in whom I trusted” is not in it, in either translation. Ellicott and the Cambridge Bible both point this out, and Cambridge gives a reason: he “had not trusted Judas, and had not been deceived, as the Psalmist had been.” Gill says only that he “thought fit to cite no more of it than what follows” (commentaries on John 13:18). The gap is in the text; the explanation is theirs.

The kiss

While he was still speaking, a crowd appeared. He who was called Judas, one of the twelve, was leading them. He came near to Jesus to kiss him. But Jesus said to him, “Judas, do you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”Luke 22:47-48 · World English Bible

Now he who betrayed him had given them a sign, saying, “Whomever I will kiss, that is he. Seize him, and lead him away safely.” When he had come, immediately he came to him and said, “Rabbi! Rabbi!” and kissed him.Mark 14:44-45 · World English Bible

Mark uses two different verbs. The agreed signal, whomever I will kiss, is phileo (5368). The kiss itself is kataphileo (2705), the same verb with an intensifying prefix — the Pulpit Commentary renders it “kissed him much” (commentaries on Mark 14:45). The same verb, in the same form, katephilesen, is used in Luke 15:20 for the father running to his returning son. One verb for the worst kiss in the gospels and for the best one. It is quoted in full on our page about shame.

The wounds of a friend are faithful, although the kisses of an enemy are profuse.Proverbs 27:6 · World English Bible

Proverbs had already said it: the kisses of an enemy are profuse. The King James says deceitful, and our page on friendship explains why the two translations part company on that word.

The friend who denied him

The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the Lord’s word, how he said to him, “Before the rooster crows you will deny me three times.” He went out, and wept bitterly.Luke 22:61-62 · World English Bible

Not every betrayal is planned. Peter’s was fear, in a courtyard, three times, and what the passage records is a look. He went out and wept.

Meant for evil, meant for good

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to save many people alive, as is happening today.Genesis 50:20 · World English Bible

Joseph says this to the brothers who sold him. The two halves turn on one Hebrew verb, chashab (2803), to think or intend: you intended evil, God intended good. The modern rendering keeps it as “meant” twice; the King James splits it into “thought” and “meant”, so you can see it in one toggle and not the other. The verse does not say the brothers’ intention was anything other than evil. It is also Joseph’s reading of his own life, decades later, and not a promise that anyone else’s betrayal will turn out the same way.

When everyone leaves

At my first defence, no one came to help me, but all left me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, that through me the message might be fully proclaimed, and that all the Gentiles might hear. So I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.2 Timothy 4:16-17 · World English Bible

May it not be held against them. Paul names the abandonment plainly and asks that it not be counted, in the same sentence.

When it is your own family

Don’t trust in a neighbour. Don’t put confidence in a friend. With the woman lying in your embrace, be careful of the words of your mouth! For the son dishonours the father, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own house. But as for me, I will look to the LORD. I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me.Micah 7:5-7 · World English Bible

A prophet describes betrayal inside a household — a man’s enemies are the men of his own house — before turning: but as for me, I will look to the LORD.

Jesus quotes that line. Matthew 10:36 is Micah 7:6, and you would not know it from either of our translations, because both say enemies and house in Micah and foes and household in Matthew. The Greek under foes is echthroi (2190), the ordinary word for enemies, just as Micah’s Hebrew is the ordinary word for enemies (Micah 7:6, Matthew 10:36).

For I came to set a man at odds against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man’s foes will be those of his own household.Matthew 10:35-36 · World English Bible

In Micah the divided house is a sign of a society coming apart. In Matthew the division follows from following Jesus, and Christians have read that in more than one way; we are not going to settle it. What the two passages share is that Scripture does not pretend families hold together, and says so first in the voice of a prophet and then in the voice of Jesus.

The word Matthew uses for household, oikiakos (3615), occurs twice in the New Testament, both times in this chapter. Ten verses earlier it means the people who belong to Jesus’s own house: how much more those of his household! One chapter, one word, two households.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.Psalms 27:10 · World English Bible

Both translations say take me up. The verb is asaph (622), to gather in, and it is the same verb Judges 19:15 uses for taking a traveller into your house for the night (interlinear). The psalm does not say the father and mother were right to leave, or that they will come back. It says who takes you in.

What this page is not

It does not tell you whether to reconcile with someone who betrayed you. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing; our page on forgiveness sets out Luke 17:3, where rebuke comes first, and nothing in Scripture obliges anyone to give access to a person who has hurt them. It takes no position on marriage or divorce, which Christians genuinely disagree about. If the betrayal involves abuse, or you are not safe, in the US the National Domestic Violence Hotline is there to help.